6 Times ‘Self-Love’ Is Really Toxic Behavior In Disguise

6 Times ‘Self-Love’ Is Really Toxic Behavior In Disguise

A 2021 article in The Humanistic Psychologist attempted to break down the idea of self-love, finding three main themes: “self-contact, defined as giving attention to oneself; self-acceptance, defined as being at peace with oneself; and self-care, defined as being protective of and caring for oneself.”

Sounds great, right? We should all love ourselves, lift ourselves up, and be kind to ourselves. But despite its popularity, the concept of self-love can be confusing — and is sometimes used as a mask to hide behavior that is actually toxic.

“Self-love is all about giving yourself permission to receive unconditional love and support from yourself, despite the inherent imperfections of being human,” said Hala Abdul, a psychotherapist based in Canada. However, self-love can be tainted when it is “misused as an excuse to get away with certain behaviors, which can often breed toxicity in your interpersonal relationships.”